2008 Blogs

Final Thoughts

07/03/2009

I have written this blog for nearly a year, and now it is time to move on to the next chapter of my life.  But before I do that, I'd like to share some final thoughts about how my experience as a Fulbrighter in Vietnam affected me.

When IUE asked me to blog during my time overseas, I thought it would be a wonderful way to keep in touch with friends and family back home.  To this day I still don't know who actually read the blog, but from time to time people surprise me with emails or comments about one posting or another.  As I wrote postings I was aware of having multiple audiences, and I wanted to include something for as many people as possible.  I also was aware that I was a guest in Vietnam and that people there also were reading the blog.  Consequently, I focused on the positive aspects of my experience.

In general, I am a positive person, but the practice of emphasizing the positives for the past six months has become habit-forming and I really like it.    The people I met in Vietnam are such good models for me--despite the many challenges they face, they don't waste a lot of energy complaining.  Perhaps they know that in dwelling on the negatives  it is easy to overshadow the many good things that are happening and the progress they are making.  Sure, people have disagreements with one another and they experience disappointments, but my friends there appear to be "in the moment," and then move on in a constructive way.  We all know there is a dark side to life, but we do not have to live there. 

At the Fulbright seminar in Dalat each of the departing Fulbrighters gave presentations about our work, research, and experiences.  I was surprised when some of my colleagues focused on the negatives.  We all know what they are, so I see no point in raising them yet again.  Fortunately, I didn't go into this with preconceived notions such as "oh, this is going to be fun" or "I want to accomplish x and y and z."  I simply knew that I wanted to challenge myself and that I hoped to use my knowledge and abilities to help in some way.  I'm no Pollyanna, blind to problems like lack of potable water and resources, but instead of dwelling on them I tried to create alternatives by thinking "outside the box." 

I also chose to open myself to opportunity.   If someone asked:  "Would you like to ride a motorbike into the countryside to eat with a farming family?  Travel into the mountains to sleep in a stilt house?  Cross a busy street in Ho Chi Minh City?  Go to karaoke with the students?  Give a guest lecture at Vin Pearl?  Do a workshop for 400 faculty?" my answer was "yes, yes, yes!"  Each and every activity taught me something about  my host institution and country, and the people who are Vietnam. 

At our Fulbright orientation last January we were told about the importance of cultivating relationships if we were to flourish in Vietnamese culture.  At first I thought that meant exchanging business cards (very popular there), but then I discovered the art of relationships, building trust by doing little things and connecting with people on a personal level.  I put away the American practice of going in, seeing what needed to be done, and proposing a plan.  I  listened, shared, and tried to see things through my colleagues' and friends' eyes.  That takes time, and for a westerner who was accustomed to immediate gratification, it was a bit difficult to adjust to the pace.  For several weeks I felt like I wasn't working hard enough or doing enough, but then I realized that I had been doing the most important task of all--building a foundation of relationships.

Whenever you set out on a new endeavor, you have an opportunity to learn something about yourself if you just open yourself up to it.  When I left Richmond, I felt like I was stuck in a rut, a nice rut, but deep inside I knew that I needed more challenges.  I also had grown a bit cynical or jaded over the years.  I went thinking that I might have some grand realization, but in time I realized that life lesson's usually are cumulative.  So, what new insights did I gain while living in Vietnam? 

 

First, my time there reinforced the benefits of a zenlike approach to life.  Each day became an adventure.  Because I had stripped away many of the extraneous thoughts that clutter my mind, I was able to develop a deeper appreciation for my environment--its colors, smells, sounds, etc.  On one hand, I couldn't have been in a more beautiful place, with the stunning sunrises over the mountains and beach.  On the other hand, my first trip to the open-air market was overwhelming because it was so crowded, loud, smelly, and bustling.   Of course I didn't like it if a rat crossed my path, or a big cockroach ran under my bed,  but I didn't let those things define my experience.  Anything different can be shocking, but then you get used to it.  So being in Vietnam also taught me about adaptability--we don't need to be afraid because we, as humans, have a remarkable ability to adapt.

During my time in Vietnam I learned to see the value and uniqueness in the wide range of people I met.  In recent years, I have become caught up in "getting things done" and in maximizing my use of time.  I knew at the time that I was sacrificing relationships,  but I couldn't seem to help myself.   (If you see me wearing a bracelet on my left hand or a Jade pendant, they are serving as reminders of my time in Vietnam, and of my desire to remain mindful of people.)   While traveling in China I observed how my friend Sunan went up to strangers on the street and initiated conversation, often parting as if they were old friends.   One day in Chengdu we asked an older man for directions and he ended up walking with us to our guesthouse, saying that he was going that way anyway.   When I told Sunan how impressed I was with her openness and trust in strangers, and she said "What's to be afraid, they are people, not animals."  Seeing her in action makes me hope I can shed some of the protective mechanisms I've developed over the years.  It's been a long time since I've felt as she does now, and I miss it.

As a U.S. historian, I should also comment on what I learned about the war and its aftermath.  I really haven't said too much about it because I discovered that the Vietnamese people are looking forward, not back.   Sure, there is the War Remnants Museum, but it makes more of a statement about peace than war (in my opinion).   If pressed, people will share their stories from the war years or hard years following it, and you can see the consequences of Agent Orange, which has altered DNA to the third generation.  When I walked on the beach, veterans would sometimes practice English with me, and when I visited the National Art Museum in Hanoi I saw fascinating paintings and sculptures depicting North Vietnamese  during the war years.   But the people I met throughout the country did not dwell on the war.  Instead of learning more about the war, I discovered Vietnam, the country.

I am so thankful to the Vietnamese colleagues and friends who treated me with graciousness and warmth, who welcomed me into their homes and included me in their activities.  Because of their positive expectations, I accomplished more than I thought possible.  I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be in an environment where people expect good things of you.   You bloom!

I think I'm having trouble ending this blog because I'm not quite ready to let go of my experience.  But it's time to move ahead!   Thank you for reading