You know when life hands you lemons you make lemonade? Well I don’t, and it’s not because I don’t know how to make lemonade. It’s because certain words, or even numbers, can trip me up when I read them. So lemons looks like melons and then the quote makes no sense.
When you first learn to do the pledge your teachers normally say put your right hand over your heart. Well although I knew my heart was on my left side I always did it backwards, like every day. So I got tested and here I am with dyslexia. It affects people differently, so we’re each unique! Mine was reading B’s and D’s backwards, switching word orders, lefts and rights, and electric 2’s and 5’s. Luckily I grew out of the numbers and sometimes I get stumped on a B or D but normally I’m pretty okay, besides giving directions.
Although I’ve learned the differences I still get tripped up sometimes. It sucks to have to tell people you meant to spell deer and not beer. Or in a Spanish class and you spell every form of Dar wrong because you put a B. If I’m giving directions I use my hands or point to the side of the road I’m talking about. My father’s day cards no longer say bab, and I no longer have a bog but a dog. It can be embarrassing, and annoying to tell people you meant this instead of that or don’t mean to read that slow. It’s also really frustrating for me and I get so upset with myself when I mess something up. Most people just ask if that’s what I meant to say if I say something backwards, or if I really meant right when you can’t turn right. It helps when people double-check with me, but oh does it get under my skin.
I no longer have my IEP; I didn’t want to be put in the “special” classes in high school or be treated any different from the other kids and I haven’t been. I mean let’s be real, when you would get called on in class to read out loud it was scary! Imagine being that afraid, plus being worried that you’re going to mess up a word and get laughed at. Like who wants that? My brain just takes extra time to think about the words on a page, or the instructions Map Quest gives me.
Lately I’ve been a lot more chill about messing up and just laugh it off, but like I said it can be frustrating. Having dyslexia has made me rethink many times about going into a field where you need to be a great speaker, but I like the idea of a challenge. Dyslexia is something I’ll probably live with forever, and that’s cool with me! It just makes my journeys a little more exciting, and helps me not take life so serious. Just don’t ask me how to get anywhere or how to spell a word. That’s what Map Quest and auto-correct are for!