Indiana University East

I have written this blog for nearly a year, and now it is time to move on to the next chapter of my life.  But before I do that, I’d like to share some final thoughts about how my experience as a Fulbrighter in Vietnam affected me.

When IUE asked me to blog during my time overseas, I thought it would be a wonderful way to keep in touch with friends and family back home.  To this day I still don’t know who actually read the blog, but from time to time people surprise me with emails or comments about one posting or another.  As I wrote postings I was aware of having multiple audiences, and I wanted to include something for as many people as possible.  I also was aware that I was a guest in Vietnam and that people there also were reading the blog.  Consequently, I focused on the positive aspects of my experience.

In general, I am a positive person, but the practice of emphasizing the positives for the past six months has become habit-forming and I really like it.    The people I met in Vietnam are such good models for me–despite the many challenges they face, they don’t waste a lot of energy complaining.  Perhaps they know that in dwelling on the negatives  it is easy to overshadow the many good things that are happening and the progress they are making.  Sure, people have disagreements with one another and they experience disappointments, but my friends there appear to be “in the moment,” and then move on in a constructive way.  We all know there is a dark side to life, but we do not have to live there. 

At the Fulbright seminar in Dalat each of the departing Fulbrighters gave presentations about our work, research, and experiences.  I was surprised when some of my colleagues focused on the negatives.  We all know what they are, so I see no point in raising them yet again.  Fortunately, I didn’t go into this with preconceived notions such as “oh, this is going to be fun” or “I want to accomplish x and y and z.”  I simply knew that I wanted to challenge myself and that I hoped to use my knowledge and abilities to help in some way.  I’m no Pollyanna, blind to problems like lack of potable water and resources, but instead of dwelling on them I tried to create alternatives by thinking “outside the box.” 

I also chose to open myself to opportunity.   If someone asked:  “Would you like to ride a motorbike into the countryside to eat with a farming family?  Travel into the mountains to sleep in a stilt house?  Cross a busy street in Ho Chi Minh City?  Go to karaoke with the students?  Give a guest lecture at Vin Pearl?  Do a workshop for 400 faculty?” my answer was “yes, yes, yes!”  Each and every activity taught me something about  my host institution and country, and the people who are Vietnam. 

At our Fulbright orientation last January we were told about the importance of cultivating relationships if we were to flourish in Vietnamese culture.  At first I thought that meant exchanging business cards (very popular there), but then I discovered the art of relationships, building trust by doing little things and connecting with people on a personal level.  I put away the American practice of going in, seeing what needed to be done, and proposing a plan.  I  listened, shared, and tried to see things through my colleagues’ and friends’ eyes.  That takes time, and for a westerner who was accustomed to immediate gratification, it was a bit difficult to adjust to the pace.  For several weeks I felt like I wasn’t working hard enough or doing enough, but then I realized that I had been doing the most important task of all–building a foundation of relationships.

Whenever you set out on a new endeavor, you have an opportunity to learn something about yourself if you just open yourself up to it.  When I left Richmond, I felt like I was stuck in a rut, a nice rut, but deep inside I knew that I needed more challenges.  I also had grown a bit cynical or jaded over the years.  I went thinking that I might have some grand realization, but in time I realized that life lesson’s usually are cumulative.  So, what new insights did I gain while living in Vietnam?  

First, my time there reinforced the benefits of a zenlike approach to life.  Each day became an adventure.  Because I had stripped away many of the extraneous thoughts that clutter my mind, I was able to develop a deeper appreciation for my environment–its colors, smells, sounds, etc.  On one hand, I couldn’t have been in a more beautiful place, with the stunning sunrises over the mountains and beach.  On the other hand, my first trip to the open-air market was overwhelming because it was so crowded, loud, smelly, and bustling.   Of course I didn’t like it if a rat crossed my path, or a big cockroach ran under my bed,  but I didn’t let those things define my experience.  Anything different can be shocking, but then you get used to it.  So being in Vietnam also taught me about adaptability–we don’t need to be afraid because we, as humans, have a remarkable ability to adapt.

During my time in Vietnam I learned to see the value and uniqueness in the wide range of people I met.  In recent years, I have become caught up in “getting things done” and in maximizing my use of time.  I knew at the time that I was sacrificing relationships,  but I couldn’t seem to help myself.   (If you see me wearing a bracelet on my left hand or a Jade pendant, they are serving as reminders of my time in Vietnam, and of my desire to remain mindful of people.)   While traveling in China I observed how my friend Sunan went up to strangers on the street and initiated conversation, often parting as if they were old friends.   One day in Chengdu we asked an older man for directions and he ended up walking with us to our guesthouse, saying that he was going that way anyway.   When I told Sunan how impressed I was with her openness and trust in strangers, and she said “What’s to be afraid, they are people, not animals.”  Seeing her in action makes me hope I can shed some of the protective mechanisms I’ve developed over the years.  It’s been a long time since I’ve felt as she does now, and I miss it.

As a U.S. historian, I should also comment on what I learned about the war and its aftermath.  I really haven’t said too much about it because I discovered that the Vietnamese people are looking forward, not back.   Sure, there is the War Remnants Museum, but it makes more of a statement about peace than war (in my opinion).   If pressed, people will share their stories from the war years or hard years following it, and you can see the consequences of Agent Orange, which has altered DNA to the third generation.  When I walked on the beach, veterans would sometimes practice English with me, and when I visited the National Art Museum in Hanoi I saw fascinating paintings and sculptures depicting North Vietnamese  during the war years.   But the people I met throughout the country did not dwell on the war.  Instead of learning more about the war, I discovered Vietnam, the country.

I am so thankful to the Vietnamese colleagues and friends who treated me with graciousness and warmth, who welcomed me into their homes and included me in their activities.  Because of their positive expectations, I accomplished more than I thought possible.  I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be in an environment where people expect good things of you.   You bloom!

I think I’m having trouble ending this blog because I’m not quite ready to let go of my experience.  But it’s time to move ahead!   Thank you for reading

I promised to write a final blog entry, and haven’t forgotten.  But this isn’t it!  Today I’m just letting you know that I still plan to do that.  

I knew that returning to Richmond would be an adjustment and that I’d go through reverse culture shock, but I couldn’t anticipate how it would feel.   I thought perhaps I would be overwhelmingly grateful to be back in familiar spaces, with my close friends and family, eating my “normal” diet, etc.   I am grateful, but in a different way.   The appreciation I feel for my life here is seeping in, a little bit at a time.  It’s not a great sense of relief, like “Thank goodness, I’m back, sleeping on a comfortable bed.”  Instead, I’m more aware of the height of the bed and firmness of the mattress, I can feel the fibers in the sheets.  The little things are magnified.

Driving a car still feels strange after living in a culture of motorbikes and bicycles, and it seems really wasteful that I should drive this huge thing around town merely to transport myself.   That said, I find myself taking different routes everywhere I go so I can look at things through my new eyes. 

There are other adjustments.  I’ve been cold.  Yes, cold.  Even when people are complaining about the heat, I feel comfortable.   And I utterly freeze in air conditioned buildings.   I miss my rather basic diet, especially the fresh pineapple, and prefer rice and tofu to about anything else people offer me.   Most of my clothes are a little too big, and I like that!

Everyone here looks big to me.  For 5 months in Vietnam, I felt like a big person–tall and heavier.  Now I fiind myself looking up to people instead of directly into their eyes.  Of course this makes me keenly aware of the differences in American and Vietnamese diets, and how much healthier the latter is.

A friend of mine told me about a concept called flooding.  I can’t remember the exact explanation, but I think flooding describes what I’m experiencing now.  After 6 months away, I am being flooded with things that need my attention, and that doesn’t leave much time for the reflection I want to do in my final blog.  Please be patient because we do have a long weekend ahead.   For now, Happy Fourth!

As I mentioned previously, Sunan, Deb, and I took an overnight train from Xi’an to Beijing.  We left at 9 p.m. and arrived about 10:30 a.m. the next morning in a very crowded train station.  As you can see from this photo, our compartment was tiny but comfortable.  It contained 4 berths, and since there were only three of us, we shared with an older Chinese man.  To pass some of our time, we played Farkle (a dice game), but soon after that we found ourselves lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sound of our train speeding through the night.  The next morning I awoke at 6:30 and began watching the countryside–miles and miles of fields punctuated by villages.  It was green but overcast.  As we neared Beijing, I saw more and more smokestacks, presumeably coming from factories of all kinds.

Sunan’s husband met us at the train station and took us to see the Olympic complex (as I noted in a previous blog), and we enjoyed eating Beijing-style noodles.  During the next two days (Thursday and Friday), we toured the city and traveled to the Great Wall.  This picture was taken at the Forbidden City, which was the imperial palace for the Ming and Qing dynasties, and home to 24 emperors.  As we walked through its many courtyards we saw the buildings that once housed the emperors and empresses, concubines, and the many other officials and staff required by an imperial dynasty.  We also visited the Ming Tombs, the Temple of Literature, and the Summer Palace, where we learned about the Dragon Lady who wielded power for 48 years.

Our tour package included a foot massage, and after all of the walking we had done, it sounded like a good idea.  What an interesting experience!  As we soaked our feet in hot water infused with herbs, we listened to a Chinese medicine doctor give a short lecture, and then he consulted with us while we had our feet massaged.  Here you see him taking my pulse while his interpreter asked me a few questions.  Very interesting!

We first visited the Great Wall on Thursday, but it was so misty and foggy that our view was quite limited.  Sunan’s husband kindly drove us to the Mutianyu section of the Great Wall on Saturday morning so we could appreciate its true spendor.  After riding a cable car to the top, we began climbing its many steps.  I was surprised by Wall’s many uneven steps–with some very shallow and other quite steep.  The walk was a real workout, one that left us breathless as we reflected on the beauty of the mountains and on the effort it took to build and maintain this wall.  

Upon returning to the city, Sunan’s husband treated us and some of their other friends to some delicious Peking Duck.  It was fun watching the chef carve it before we rolled pieces of duck, sliced vegetables, and sauce in rice paper wrappers–simply delicious!

Thanks to Sunan and her husband, Deb and I had a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime trip to China.  We saw natural beauty, historical sites, Buddhist temples, and major tourist attractions of Beijing.  We rode the train and ate lots of ice cream (green tea ice cream, anyone?).  We sampled a variety of delicious Chinese dishes, from noodle soup in Yangshou to bao from a street vendor in Chengdu to spicey dishes in Xi’an.  All were good, but we especially enjoyed the flavors of Beijing.  We saw the amazing face changing at the Sichuan Opera and marveled at the colorful costumes of the Beijing Opera.  We held pandas!  Everything went as scheduled, which is always great.  But best of all, we met many wonderful people because of Sunan.  Her friends and family epitomize Chinese hospitality and we are richer for knowing them.

On Sunday afternoon, Sunan and her husband drove us to the Beijing International Airport.  After two wonderful weeks in China, it was time to fly back to the States and to experience reverse culture shock.  I’m still adjusting–it seems strange to hear English spoken and to see how much taller and bigger most Americans are.  Today I had a real shock when I went to the fresh produce section of my local grocery–yikes!  But it is such a beautiful time of year to return to Richmond, with flowers in bloom, blue skies, and lovely green grass.   And it is good to re-connect with friends here.  I have missed you.

In a few days I want to post a concluding blog entry reflecting on my impressions of Vietnam and China, and on my experience these past few months.  But first, I’m home in time to celebrate my father’s 98th birthday!  Happy Birthday, Dad!  Thanks for encouraging me to follow my dreams.

You cannot imagine my relief when I saw my friends Sunan and Deb waiting for me in the Guilin airport!  Sunan was my student and advisee when I taught on the faculty of the Graduate School of Library & Information Science in Bloomington, and we’ve remained in touch over the years.  When I mentioned to her that I would visit China after being in Vietnam, she volunteered to accompany me.  When Deb heard about that, she asked if she could come also.  Sunan planned an excellent trip, beginning in Yangshou where this photo was taken.  We were on the beautiful Li River admiring the unusual rock formations.

After two incredible days in Yangshou, we flew to Chengdu where we visited the Panda Reserve.  Holding an eight-month old panda has to be a highlight of this trip for me.  Since we were there early in the morning, we also saw many adult pandas eating bamboo.

In Chengdu we also visited one of Sunan’s friends, who took us for a walk in a local park.  It was bustling with activity–people playing badminton, dancing, performing, and exercising.  Since the retirement age in China is 55 for women and 60 for men, there are many “young” retirees in good condition with time on their hands.  We participated in some of the activities at the urging of “Auntie,” and had a great time. 

After Chengdu we headed for Xi’an, which is one of the most historical cities in China.  I’ve seen pictures of the Terracotta Warriors, but nothing can compare to the feeling you have when you walk into Pit 1 and see the treasure a Chinese farmer found in 1974.  Dating  back to 210 BCE, archaeologists estimate that there are 8,000 soldiers as well as horses and chariots.  Digging and restoration continues and there is still much work to be done.

And if that’s not old enough, we also visited the Banpo Museum, site of a matriarchal Neolithic site that is over 6,000 years old!  As an American historian, I cover about 400 years of history in survey classes.  Just think what my Chinese colleagues must do!

From Xi’an we took the overnight train to Beijing, covering approximately 1,500 miles in 13 1/2 hours.  Much to my surprise, I was able to sleep fairly well. 

After arriving in Beijing, Sunan and her husband took us to eat at a very special noodle restaurant.  Later in the day we visited the National Library of China to see an exhibit of early manuscript and printed books, some of them dating to approximately 680 AD.  Our next stop was the massive Olympic sports complex.  Like many of my friends, I watched the Olympic games last year, but the Bird’s Nest and the Water Cube were much more stunning in person.

This trip has been beyond my wildest expectations, mostly because of the efforts of my friend Sunan and her husband.  I have a greater appreciation for China, its history, its people, its culture, and its food.  Did I mention that I love the food!!!

More soon.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and I’m hoping that’s true since it is late and I need to get a good night’s rest before tomorrow morning’s flight to Guilin, China. 

My visit to Siem Reap was amazing, incredible, fantastic…can you think of any more superlatives.  I learned so much about Khmer culture, Buddhism, Hinduism, and the Angkor period.  Naturally, I saw Angkor Wat, but only after I saw many other temples, each of them unique and impressive.  One was a place of healing, an early hospital, if you will. 

For three days I hiked up and down and all around temples until I didn’t think my legs could take any more.  Great exercise for the quads, I must say!  See what centuries have done to these magnificent temples. 

You can’t take the country out of the girl, so every chance possible I like to get into the countryside.  On Thursday the driver took me about 50 kilometers north of Siem Reap, and along the way I saw lots of rice fields and a few water buffalo.  They tie them in certain places, or else they will eat the rice crop.  Along the way I noticed white signs with American flags and names of people on them.  Upon asking, I learned that 80% of Cambodian people do not have access to safe drinking water, and an American tourist began a project to build pumping wells throughout the countryside.  He gets people to sponsor a well–as I understand it, the cost is around $400 per well.  Imagine that!  I will never again take my drinking water for granted, along with a few thousand other things.

I also asked the driver to stop at a school, and we received permission to visit this first grade room.  What do you think?  I was struck by the male-female ratio, in this room, at least.

I could say more about the victims of land mines that I saw playing music to support their families.  But I will save those thoughts for another day.

Postscript, June 7, 2009

I wrote the above last night in my hotel room, and am now in the airport waiting for my flight from Ho Chi Minh City to Hong Kong, the first of three flights today that will take me to Guilin, China, where I hopefully will meet up with my friends Sunan and Deb.  I want to give you one more example of Vietnamese hospitality.  The wonderful tour guide Deb and I had in March met me at the airport last evening to say hello, and we had a wonderful visit over coffee after I checked into the hotel.  He took a long bus ride to do this, and I’m sure had an equally long ride home, just to give me warm wishes and some small gifts.  This morning I left for the airport at 8, after receiving a text message from him saying that he just had to say goodbye in person.  True to his word, Kim was there outside the departure terminal wearing the IU Hoosiers hat Deb had given him in March. 

I feel much more emotional than I expected today, knowing that I’m really leaving Vietnam.  My experience here has been so moving and meaningful, and I treasure the friends I’ve made and the lessons learned about friendship, family, and life.  I will carry them in my heart.  

And now, on to China!

I’m writing tonight from the business center of my hotel in Siem Reap, Cambodia, so this will be short.  I hope to write a longer posting Saturday evening when I am back in Ho Chi Minh City.  As you know, I am visiting Angkor Wat, and have had a fabulous two days visiting temples.  It is such an amazing place and it will be difficult to capture it’s magic with mere words (so I will upload some pictures at my first opportunity). 

Today my driver took me noth of Siem Reap, where I saw many farms and had the opportunity to visit a primary school.  Everywhere I went, except at the primary school, children are trying to sell things.  There is a large Children’s Hospital in Siem Reap where approximately 350 children are seen each day, free of charge.  If I understand correctly, Siem Reap also has one of two maternity hospitals in the nation. 

There is so much I want to share with you about what I’ve seen in Cambodia, but it will have to wait. 

I’m flying to China on Sunday June 7, and may not be able to write in my blog while there.  If you are following the news, you’ll see that the government has blocked things like Facebook, Twitter, and Hotmail.   If I can’t post while in China, I promise to update you after my return to the States on the 21st.

The past 24 hours have been very emotional as I have received the warmest sendoff anyone could dream of.  It is difficult to grow so close to people and accustomed to seeing them on a daily basis and then to say goodbye, not knowing if you will ever see them again. 

Shamima and her family have welcomed me into their home and treated me like an honored aunt.  It has been a joy for me to receive emails from little Abir, especially his creative works of art.  I know we will keep in touch by email, but I will miss Shamima’s lovely smile and warm personality, the children’s energy and creativity, and her husband’s kindness. 

This picture was taken last evening.  Early this morning there was a knock on my door and it was Shamima bringing me coffee and biscuits, plus bananas for the trip.  What a thoughtful gesture, and much appreciated.

It would have been impossible for anyone to sleep in this morning because we were soon joined by Kamrul (my walking partner), Ms. Vinh (the head of the English major department), Shamima’s husband, and several students.  Kamrul had thought of everything, arranging for a friend to bring his motorbike to transport my suitcase to the pick-up point, while two others carried my backpack and briefcase.  I felt so spoiled!  As we waited for the driver, more people arrived, so naturally we had to have another picture. 

Goodbye my friends and students!  There is a special place in my heart where you will always reside.  I hope you keep in touch because I want to know how you are and what you are doing.  In case you don’t have my email address, it is jpasset@iue.edu.

Tam Biet — Goodbye!

Xin chao!  I’m really going to miss the water, the seashore, and the mountains when I return to Richmond.  Last evening’s walk was more special than usual because I was joined by my friend Kamrul and a fisheries student from the Mekong Delta who had never spoken with a foreign woman before. On our way we encountered the librarian who gave me the beautiful sand picture and she invited us to see a sand artist at work in her nearby studio. See the variety of colors in the container?  The sand comes from many different parts of Vietnam.  The artist is using just 3 tools: a little scoop on a long handle and two objects similar to long needles.  She draws the picture on the glass to guide the placement of sand, then erases it when she is finished.  The work obviously requires good eyes, a steady hand, and much patience!

After our walk along the beach, we visited the Hon Chong Promontory at sunset–it was stunning.  It also was hotter than it looks here, especially after our walk, so Kamrul proposed stopping at a local stand for a refreshing drink of sugar cane.  This enterprising woman (like so many I have met), lives in the house directly behind this stand.  She conducts her business in the space in front of her home, putting out little red and plastic chairs and tables for customers.  Someone delivers stalks of sugar cane to her and she feeds them through this machine several times to extract all of the juice, which you can drink with or without ice.  So delicious, and all natural, too!

After returning to the dormitory I stopped to visit the lovely family from Bangladesh who live immediately below me.  I will miss them very much, but since their son has become my e-mail penpal, I know we will remain in touch.  I gave each child a U.S. coin–two presidential dollars for the boys and a Sacajawea coin for the little girl.  The children’s mother surprised me with a lovely gift of Grameen check from Bangladesh.  As you can imagine, I’m feeling quite moved by the many goodbyes.  It is amazing how close you can grow to people in such a short time and despite differences of language and culture. 

I leave Nha Trang early tomorrow morning for the end-of-year Fulbright conference in Dalat.  From there I will fly to Siem Reap, Cambodia, on June 3 to visit Angkor Wat, and from Ho Chi Minh City to Guilin, China (where I will meet my former student Sunan and Deb) on June 7.  We’ll be traveling in China until June 21 and I’ll post entries if possible, but it’s difficult to predict how much Internet access I will have.  It has been my pleasure to share this Fulbright experience in Vietnam with you!  Tam Biet!

Even though I’m a positive person and try to focus on the “sunny side” of life, I’m starting to feel a little sad because I’ll be leaving NTU the day after tomorrow.  The parting festivities have been fun, but this week it has sunk in–I’m doing things for the last time.  One last visit to the market, to walk along the beach, to eat at a favorite restaurant, to see special people.  For the last time, that is, until I return to Vietnam for another visit. 

I’m sure you will agree that I am a very lucky person to have met so many interesting and wonderful people and to have learned so many things in such a short amount of time.  Last evening I had a very enjoyable dinner with the librarians, and wish we could have had more opportunities to talk informally.  I sense that I would have learned so much more about Vietnamese history and culture if only I could have spoken Vietnamese with them. 

Before our dessert of fresh fruit (my favorite!), they presented me with a lovely ao dai, which I will wear for special occasions and when I give presentations about my Fulbright experience.  Then I was completely blown away when Ms. O presented me with this amazingly detailed sand picture made for me by her husband from naturally colored sand–no dyes!  Look at the intricate detail!  The second side has another image and my name.  I was quite touched and moved by both of these lovely gifts, which I will always treasure.  Thank you!

I had another very special experience on Wednesday, when Ms. H and her sister took me to the mudbaths.  Many tourists go there, but I simply had not had the opportunity.  I’m not going to share a picture of me sitting in a tub of warm mud, but I can assure you that it was a very relaxing and wonderful experience. 

Later today I meet with the rector for a formal goodbye, and tomorrow I will have another lunch with friends.  That means there’s time for at least one more walk along the beach as I say my private goodbyes to this very special place.

I had such a lovely Sunday, spending time with a good friend, visiting the Stone Cathedral, and going for “coffee” with the students pictured here.  Let me start with the last event first.  Becky, to the right as you look at this picture, arrived at my dorm with a motorbike and drove me a very short distance to the student cafe.  Talk about service with a smile!  Over tea, soft drinks, and coffee, we discussed our life dreams, living in the dormitory, exams, and travel.  I am going to miss these sweet, intelligent, caring, ambitious, fun-loving and generous women (and one man, but he was taking the picture).  May all their dreams come true.

Earlier in the day my good friend L. took me to see the Stone Cathedral, built in a French gothic style during the late 1920s and finished around 1933.  Since a service had begun,  we quietly stepped to the right and took a seat so I could admire the beautiful stained glass windows.  Much to my surprise, the Cathedral reminded me of the North Salem Lutheran Church near Upper Sandusky, Ohio.   As I sat thinking about the similarities, my friend whispered something to me.  “What,” I asked, before realizing that she was telling me to notice all the men sitting on our side of the church and all the women on the other side.  Hmm, what to do?  It seemed like a good time to make an unobtrusive exit, which we did. 

The Cathedral is located near the train station and also near the large and flourishing bookstore where we stopped next.  Our timing was perfect since it had started to rain, so we made our way to the book cafe for coffee and cake.  Nothing like eating dessert first! 

As we talked, my friend realized that I had never eaten banh uot, so our next stop was a little restaurant specializing in this Vietnamese dish!   The woman pictured here spread a ladle of cooked rice noodles on a cloth stretched tight over a kettle of boiling water, covered it for a minute or two, then smoothed the surface.  After scoring the large rice pancake into pieces, she lifted each one from the cloth to a dish, sprinkled on a few scallions and some finely diced shrimp, and served us four plates at a time.  Using chopsticks, you fold the pancake into a dumpling, dip it in fish sauce, and enjoy.  It’s even better when you squeeze a little lemon juice into the fish sauce.  There also was a small side of sliced pork on the table, and the requisite green tea.  Yummy.  My friend and I ate 8 plates of banh uot each!  And all this after cake!